Still Dead, Still Here is written for those who are grieving and wondering what is ‘normal’. The grief that lives beneath a composed face. The morning eight years in when a word you thought had quieted comes back. The worship song that stabs in a room full of people who hear it differently. The well-meaning sentence that lands like a door closing. I have lived inside this loss since my son Caleb died by suicide in June 2018. I co-facilitate a Survivors of Suicide Loss support group and have been writing about long grief at DavidALloyd.com for seven years. This book brings what I have learned into one place: what grief actually does over years, what scripture sounds like from inside it, what people say that does not help, and what holds anyway.
The book takes its name from “Still Here,” a blog post I published in May 2026 about staying alive through a hard grief season. The book grows that post into a survivor’s whole long grief, not just one week of it. You can read the original post here while the book is being written.
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