Donna and I celebrate twenty-nine years of marital bliss … eternal happiness … marriage today. Please do not think we are displeased with each other! I love Donna deeply despite the many hard years we have shared.
The last two years have put an immeasurable strain on us individually and as a couple. Everyone changes during marriage. Usually these changes are slow and not dramatic. Few events change a person so completely and suddenly as losing a child. The marriage dynamics shift dramatically in an instant. Differences in how men and women manage grief further complicates the relationship. Some days are much harder than others, for reasons we rarely understand. I might be irritable or have little patience. Often it is harder from anxiety or the weight of grief. Other days it might be Donna with these symptoms. When trials come and your partner has a foul day, you need to show a lot of grace. Try to understand harsh words express grief, tiredness, or pain. It can be difficult, but necessary, to respond in love.
Marriage is a commitment. Love is a commitment. The emotions and passions can come and go, especially during extreme trials. Some days you might not feel the flood of passion, but you stay committed. Do not give up on the relationship. The passion returns just as fickle as it left.
I love Donna more now than I did twenty-nine years ago and there is no one with which I would rather search for happily ever after!
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